Maine

You know you're living through a Maine winter when your Duck tape freezes while you're 'fixing' the broken back windshield of a buddy's car with shopping bags and heavy-duty plastic to keep the glass in and the cold out.  Not that I'm suggesting it actually helps with that last part.

Two Towers and Fried Steak

I came back from visiting Alise's family and found my beloved (hated) can opener hanged by the tines until dead.  Apparently, Jasper too has grown tired of its treachery, and replaced it with a superior product.

This morning's breakfast was eggs and toast.  Nothing fancy, but certainly good hearty eats.  For dinner, I am preparing a ginger garlic pepper steak.


Step 1:  Gather your materials.

For this meal, you will need:

One (1) 9-10 oz steak
Rough granulated black pepper
Granulated garlic
Yellow squeeze mustard
Whole oregano
Ground ginger
Ground nutmeg
1/2 oz scotch whisky (I used Johnny Walker Red)
Salt
Single-serving amount of broccoli florets

One (1) frying pan (I used 8" cast iron) with lid

One (1) pie dish (I used 8")
Microwave-safe bowl

While this is going on, I am watching The Two Towers, sequel to that wonderful film The Fellowship of the Ring.  I personally like this movie the best out of the three, largely because of the Smeagol-Gollum relationship and siege of Helm's Deep.

Did you ever notice how they designed the fortress so it looks under repair?

Step 2:  Spice your steak.

Spicy!

Pepper the steak first.  Sprinkle it liberally with the crushed black pepper, and press it into the meat with your fingers.  Flip the steak and repeat.  Do the same with the garlic.  Oregano is a strong spice, so use a little less when you do this.  Nutmeg and ginger are even more powerful, so use them to your taste; personally, I used just enough to spread thin over each side.  Also, the fact that they are powder instead of grain means they will stick to your fingers more and press into the meat less.  Leave the scotch aside for now.  Leave the meat to sit and soak up the flavor for a couple minutes.

Frodo and Sam pick up an unwilling and surprising guide through Mordor (Gollum), and the torn feelings between Sam and Gollum start immediately.  This divide also begins to separate Frodo and Sam as the Ringbearer begins to shift his attention and favor to the fallen Smeagol.

Reliability tested... and proven.

3:  Heat your frying pan.

This is pretty self-explanatory.  Turn your frying pan to a low-medium heat, add just a touch of oil, and let it set until it warms.  One thing I do differently is I salt the pan with the oil in it rather than salting the steak.  This means the salt only gets to hit the surface rather than sinking into the meat.

There's this one spot right before Faramir captures the hobbits where Sam and Smeagol have a little conversation - a bit of lightheartnedness amidst all the chaos.  This scene shows that, given the proper situation, the two of them can get along, and perhaps if Frodo had not been captured and then not betrayed Smeagol, the little greasy creature may have developed a friendship with the hobbits.

Sam can keep his nasty "chips."

4:  Cook the steak!

Place the steak in the frying pan.  It should start sizzling immediately.  Now you can use that scotch.  Pour it into the pie pan, swirl like you're panning for gold to collect the remaining spices, and pour it gently around the steak in the pan.

Place the lid and let it sit for about 8 minutes, or until the steak turns totally brown.  Then drizzle the mustard on lightly and turn the steak.  Replace the lid.

I mustard the Rohirrim!  Or, at least, the steak.   ...sorry about that.

 After a couple more minutes, take off the lid, flip the steak, and raise the temperature to medium-high to get that nice final sear.  You want to keep the lid on this long to keep the meat moist and tender; if you leave it off for the entire process, the steak will dry out and turn into peppered shoe leather.

Kiss me, you fool!

Aragorn survived falling from the battle with the Warg riders, and his last unconscious vision is of Arwen kissing him gently on the lips to give him strength.  He wakes to find his trusty steed doing the same.  Now, the real question here is whether Arwen actually gave him strength from afar, or did his concussed mind translate "horse-lips" as "dainty elf?"  We may never know...

5:  Cook the broccoli!

Once you turn the steak, pop the broccoli into the microwave in a little water and hit it for about four (4) minutes, depending on how strong your machine is.  By the time it is done cooking, your steak will be, too.  Take it out, fork the veggies onto a plate, and add the steak.


6:  Eat like it's delicious... because it is!
 

Now have a seat and take a bite!  The steak is tender and juicy (mine was just a little overdone, but still excellent) and the broccoli goes well with the meat.  I suggest orange juice for your accompanying  beverage; the tart sweetness goes well with the spice and heat of the protein.

For dessert, I suggest some soft gingerbread cookies, but that's because what's available to me right now.  Merry soon-to-be Christmas, and a happy new meal!


7:  Finish your movie.

Can't... hold... on... forever.  Must scratch my itchy ear!

 I always liked this old man.  The Uruk-hai were standing to attention, pounding spears to the ground and spreading fear within the walls, and his shaky old hands slipped and, Oops!  One orc down with a bolt through his neck.  Everbody freaks out, not the least of whom is himself.

Well, damn.

The elves, with Haldir at their fore, arrive to aid the battle.  Again purists scream in despair, and again moviegoers appreciate a clever directorial decision.  Haldir gave up his immortal life to honor the ancient alliance between Elves and Men, and his death is an emotional moment in the film.

I always thought the Uruk who sacrificed himself to take down the Deeping Wall looked like an Olympic torch-bearer, in a creepy, toothy sort of way.  Also, what idiot didn't put a grate on the outside of the storm drain?  Were the Rohan ancestors really so lazy they couldn't take one off to clean it out every now and then?

Take my picture, guys; this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

 While this is all going on, Frodo and Sam must deal with Faramir's men and the Ringwraiths.  After Frodo goes mad and nearly kills his best friend, Sam gives a stirring monologue on faith, responsibility, and despair.

Good old Sam.  He's really the nicest guy in the entire trilogy.

 It's such a good speech even Smeagol/Gollom is touched by it.

How could you not trust this sad little face?

 My last comment is on Faramir, brother of Boromir.  Here is another man with whom I sympathize.  He intends to bring Frodo and the Ring to his father to help his people, and who can blame him?  It is only after he sees Frodo almost succumb to its power that he lets them go, leaving us with two lessons learned.  One is that Faramir understands the burden Frodo must bear, and the power it has over the mind.  The other is that Frodo now understands the terrible danger Gondor is under, and the opportunity Faramir gave up by releasing him.

He hasn't just had a bad day; it's been a rough couple generations.

I know I didn't mention the Ents.  I'm sorry.

Once again, it's been a pleasure cooking food and watching movies.  Tune in again some time!

Annie's Homegrown Rabbit Butts

Okay, so today Alise got some macaroni and cheese from campus to try out.  I've never bought any Annie's products, largely because they cost so much, and I'm not so keen on organic food that I want to pay three times the price for it.  Anyhow, dining funds win, so we got mac and cheese.  However, when I went to open the package, I was faced with a daunting task.  Apparently, Annie's "Rabbit of Approval" (as opposed to a seal of approval, I suppose) has placed itself back toward the opening, and to get access to the contents of the box, you must shove your thumb in the rabbit's rear.  Not the rabbit's ear, you see, its Rear!  Butt, posterior, heinie, whatever.  Very disconcerting.

The sauce was good, by the way, but the trauma of poking bunny butts is still on my mind.  If you ever buy some Annie's goods, be warned!

I was sure I would never try this...

Hello world.

There, I've done it; I have successfully made my first blog, and introduced it as all proper technology should be introduced. As this is my first entry, I suppose it is only fitting to explain why I have started this. My name is Andrew, and this is the summer between undergraduate (BS Secondary Education, BA History) and graduate (MA History, in progress) work for me at the University of Maine. I have been informed (bombarded) by my peers and superiors that with changing technology we should all adapt and utilize what may be the communication of the future. Apparently, someone out there thinks blogs may be the communication of the future. Meh, I thought. But now, with summer wending it's way through the forest of my life, I have decided that just maybe this is worth a shot. After all, what can it hurt? For all I know, no one will ever read this, and it might be something to show the grandkids some day when the internet is fully interactive and their holo-machines have a hard time even understanding two-dimensional text. So here is where I begin.

Like any good story, this one begins with a meal. Dinner, to be precise, or at least a late supper. As I set Netflix to play Fellowship of the Ring, I started thawing a chicken quarter. I didn't know it yet, but I was about to create a delicious meal. It included:

1. Squeeze mustard
2. Brown sugar
3. 1 chicken quarter
4. Ranch dressing with bacon
   
5. Chives, oregano, parsley, black pepper and granulated garlic
6. 1 potato
7. 1/2 carrot

But, I had to start somewhere, so I began with a 9" glass pie pan. I put my computer on the counter behind me so I could continue to hear and see poor Frodo getting chased all over the Shire by Wraiths, and turned to flavoring. I started by swirling a drizzle of mustard over the bottom of the pan, and sprinkled brown sugar over the mustard. It looked something like this:

Has anyone else noticed how irritating it is to add images to the post? Will I actually have to click and drag down one frame at a time for each image I add? Maybe my blogging career will be shorter than planned...

Regardless, you may or may not see from the picture that the mustard immediately began soaking up the brown sugar, creating a tangy yet sweet sauce to flavor the chicken and potato. More on that later. So far, so good, I thought. Now for the most important part of the meal: the meat. And on that went... like so!


I just discovered blogger has cut and paste! How excellent is that?! My life is suddenly easier.

So, atop that palatial piece of poultry I added a swath of ranch dressing with bacon. I know it is stereotypical to say this, but bacon really does make almost anything better, and my metabolism is still far stronger than my diet, so I cheerfully added enough flavoring to make this chicken pop. Something like this much:


And you were expecting some outrageous amount of ranch on that chicken. Don't pretend you weren't. That is a perfectly respectable amount! Atop the ranch went the spices. I suppose I could upload a picture of every single spice as it was added, but I don't want this post getting overburdened that badly. Suffice it to say that, by the time I reached the potato, there was enough flavor on that chicken to make it jealous it couldn't eat itself.


That's a medium potato, by the way. You could drown this thing in potato and make yourself a veritable mashed potato crust (not a bad idea, for future reference) but in this case I just want an extended garnish with flavor. I peeled the potato, sliced it in half sandwich-style, and proceeded to wield my trusty Santoku and cut each half into respectable slices. Then I moved them a little bit to make them all pretty for the camera:


Behold the trusty Santoku. On a whim, I just Googled the word "santoku," and it turns out the Wikipedia article on the knife is completely uncited, although full of good pictures and (presumably) good information, if anyone actually cares enough about cooking utensils to read up on their history. Click here to go to the Wikipedia page on Santoku knives. I do not know if it will open in a new window or not; remember, I'm new to this whole blogging thing.

Quick aside: I went to a technology accessibility seminar on campus the other day, and one thing I got from it was the usefulness of having your links actually say where they are going. Rather than just having "click here" highlighted for the hyperlink, actually include what you are clicking here for. Many people use the internet via adaptive technology which brings up the list of links, and if the list is just full of "click here"s, they have a frustrating time dealing with it. So, if you are making a website (or a blog) and want it to be more user-friendly, make your links more understandable.

So back to chicken. I arranged the potato around the chicken quarter in (what I fancy) an artistic fashion, making sure that some part of each slice was touching the bottom of the pan. It looked something like this:


I then set the oven to preheat to 375˚ F.

Mac users, by the way, to get the little "degrees" sign, type Alt/Option + K. I was just surprised it worked here, too.

Remember, now, behind me all this time the war for Middle Earth is starting to shape up. Aragorn has taken the hobbits from Bree, they've fled to the old watch tower, and after his idiot friends gave away their position with a camp fire, Frodo is now falling victim to the power of the Morgul Blade. Purists the world over scream in disgust as Arwen, not Unimportant Elf-Messenger, desperately brings Frodo to Rivendell. The suspense is building almost as quickly as my dinner.

He's fading fast... but not as fast as my patience with dinner!

Next comes the 4" stub of carrot I took from the fridge, washed, and sliced. I even took another pretty picture with trusty Santoku:


So, with a little more creative verve, I arranged the carrots around the chicken, atop the potato. It ended up looking something like...

...this!

...and this!

So, just in time for Elrond to lament the failures of mankind, I covered it all in aluminum foil and cast it into the fires of Mount Doom, er, my oven.

He was there, you know; he was there the day the strength of men failed.

As another aside, I have come to the conclusion that no matter how many movies Hugo Weaving makes, he will always be Agent Smith, hell-bent on stopping the One from achieving his destiny. It just so happens that in this series the One happens to be Sauron, wielder of the One Ring.

I spent the next hour washing dishes and figuring out how to actually make this blog. Meanwhile, the fellowship trudged on over scenic landscape after scenic landscape.

Honestly, of all the characters in the movie (I've read the books, too, by the way, so don't gripe about how they are different, and how he should have dark hair, etc, etc...) I sympathize most with Boromir. What a miserable job he had. For years, he fought to defend the country Aragorn should have been defending, and what thanks does he get for it? The part of the weak-minded scrabbler, that's what. Up until Aragorn accepts his destiny, Boromir really is the more noble, selfless and worthy defender of his people. If your family needed a horrible weapon to stay alive, you'd try stealing it, too, especially if your father asked you to.

A long, slow, hungry hour later, out came what is quite possibly the best chicken dinner I have ever made.


The mustard and brown sugar combined with the juice from the chicken to form a basting sauce. The sauce soaked into the potatoes to make them soft enough to be crushed by my tongue. The carrots, slightly browned around the edges, are well cooked but still slightly crisp. And the chicken... spicing and ranch from the top soaked down while mustard and brown sugar soaked up from the bottom. Succulent, sweet, spicy; what a perfect combination! I can't tell you how many calories, how much fat or how many carbohydrates this food has, but I can tell you it is worth eating, and then some! If anyone actually reads this blog, you can now make a meal like a college kid.

Enjoy!