I was sure I would never try this...

Hello world.

There, I've done it; I have successfully made my first blog, and introduced it as all proper technology should be introduced. As this is my first entry, I suppose it is only fitting to explain why I have started this. My name is Andrew, and this is the summer between undergraduate (BS Secondary Education, BA History) and graduate (MA History, in progress) work for me at the University of Maine. I have been informed (bombarded) by my peers and superiors that with changing technology we should all adapt and utilize what may be the communication of the future. Apparently, someone out there thinks blogs may be the communication of the future. Meh, I thought. But now, with summer wending it's way through the forest of my life, I have decided that just maybe this is worth a shot. After all, what can it hurt? For all I know, no one will ever read this, and it might be something to show the grandkids some day when the internet is fully interactive and their holo-machines have a hard time even understanding two-dimensional text. So here is where I begin.

Like any good story, this one begins with a meal. Dinner, to be precise, or at least a late supper. As I set Netflix to play Fellowship of the Ring, I started thawing a chicken quarter. I didn't know it yet, but I was about to create a delicious meal. It included:

1. Squeeze mustard
2. Brown sugar
3. 1 chicken quarter
4. Ranch dressing with bacon
   
5. Chives, oregano, parsley, black pepper and granulated garlic
6. 1 potato
7. 1/2 carrot

But, I had to start somewhere, so I began with a 9" glass pie pan. I put my computer on the counter behind me so I could continue to hear and see poor Frodo getting chased all over the Shire by Wraiths, and turned to flavoring. I started by swirling a drizzle of mustard over the bottom of the pan, and sprinkled brown sugar over the mustard. It looked something like this:

Has anyone else noticed how irritating it is to add images to the post? Will I actually have to click and drag down one frame at a time for each image I add? Maybe my blogging career will be shorter than planned...

Regardless, you may or may not see from the picture that the mustard immediately began soaking up the brown sugar, creating a tangy yet sweet sauce to flavor the chicken and potato. More on that later. So far, so good, I thought. Now for the most important part of the meal: the meat. And on that went... like so!


I just discovered blogger has cut and paste! How excellent is that?! My life is suddenly easier.

So, atop that palatial piece of poultry I added a swath of ranch dressing with bacon. I know it is stereotypical to say this, but bacon really does make almost anything better, and my metabolism is still far stronger than my diet, so I cheerfully added enough flavoring to make this chicken pop. Something like this much:


And you were expecting some outrageous amount of ranch on that chicken. Don't pretend you weren't. That is a perfectly respectable amount! Atop the ranch went the spices. I suppose I could upload a picture of every single spice as it was added, but I don't want this post getting overburdened that badly. Suffice it to say that, by the time I reached the potato, there was enough flavor on that chicken to make it jealous it couldn't eat itself.


That's a medium potato, by the way. You could drown this thing in potato and make yourself a veritable mashed potato crust (not a bad idea, for future reference) but in this case I just want an extended garnish with flavor. I peeled the potato, sliced it in half sandwich-style, and proceeded to wield my trusty Santoku and cut each half into respectable slices. Then I moved them a little bit to make them all pretty for the camera:


Behold the trusty Santoku. On a whim, I just Googled the word "santoku," and it turns out the Wikipedia article on the knife is completely uncited, although full of good pictures and (presumably) good information, if anyone actually cares enough about cooking utensils to read up on their history. Click here to go to the Wikipedia page on Santoku knives. I do not know if it will open in a new window or not; remember, I'm new to this whole blogging thing.

Quick aside: I went to a technology accessibility seminar on campus the other day, and one thing I got from it was the usefulness of having your links actually say where they are going. Rather than just having "click here" highlighted for the hyperlink, actually include what you are clicking here for. Many people use the internet via adaptive technology which brings up the list of links, and if the list is just full of "click here"s, they have a frustrating time dealing with it. So, if you are making a website (or a blog) and want it to be more user-friendly, make your links more understandable.

So back to chicken. I arranged the potato around the chicken quarter in (what I fancy) an artistic fashion, making sure that some part of each slice was touching the bottom of the pan. It looked something like this:


I then set the oven to preheat to 375˚ F.

Mac users, by the way, to get the little "degrees" sign, type Alt/Option + K. I was just surprised it worked here, too.

Remember, now, behind me all this time the war for Middle Earth is starting to shape up. Aragorn has taken the hobbits from Bree, they've fled to the old watch tower, and after his idiot friends gave away their position with a camp fire, Frodo is now falling victim to the power of the Morgul Blade. Purists the world over scream in disgust as Arwen, not Unimportant Elf-Messenger, desperately brings Frodo to Rivendell. The suspense is building almost as quickly as my dinner.

He's fading fast... but not as fast as my patience with dinner!

Next comes the 4" stub of carrot I took from the fridge, washed, and sliced. I even took another pretty picture with trusty Santoku:


So, with a little more creative verve, I arranged the carrots around the chicken, atop the potato. It ended up looking something like...

...this!

...and this!

So, just in time for Elrond to lament the failures of mankind, I covered it all in aluminum foil and cast it into the fires of Mount Doom, er, my oven.

He was there, you know; he was there the day the strength of men failed.

As another aside, I have come to the conclusion that no matter how many movies Hugo Weaving makes, he will always be Agent Smith, hell-bent on stopping the One from achieving his destiny. It just so happens that in this series the One happens to be Sauron, wielder of the One Ring.

I spent the next hour washing dishes and figuring out how to actually make this blog. Meanwhile, the fellowship trudged on over scenic landscape after scenic landscape.

Honestly, of all the characters in the movie (I've read the books, too, by the way, so don't gripe about how they are different, and how he should have dark hair, etc, etc...) I sympathize most with Boromir. What a miserable job he had. For years, he fought to defend the country Aragorn should have been defending, and what thanks does he get for it? The part of the weak-minded scrabbler, that's what. Up until Aragorn accepts his destiny, Boromir really is the more noble, selfless and worthy defender of his people. If your family needed a horrible weapon to stay alive, you'd try stealing it, too, especially if your father asked you to.

A long, slow, hungry hour later, out came what is quite possibly the best chicken dinner I have ever made.


The mustard and brown sugar combined with the juice from the chicken to form a basting sauce. The sauce soaked into the potatoes to make them soft enough to be crushed by my tongue. The carrots, slightly browned around the edges, are well cooked but still slightly crisp. And the chicken... spicing and ranch from the top soaked down while mustard and brown sugar soaked up from the bottom. Succulent, sweet, spicy; what a perfect combination! I can't tell you how many calories, how much fat or how many carbohydrates this food has, but I can tell you it is worth eating, and then some! If anyone actually reads this blog, you can now make a meal like a college kid.

Enjoy!